Jamie: Did you see this? New Pope. Leo the Fourteenth. Just installed. Symeon: Yes. He’s already said some beautiful things — about peace, dialogue… even with those who disagree. Jamie: Exactly. That inspired me.
Jamie: I am hereby assuming the office of HOA Pontiff. My first encyclical will be titled “Parking Peacefully Together.” Symeon: Your building has four tenants. Jamie: And one universal truth: never block the mailbox. Symeon: Is that dialogue, or a threat? Jamie: Both. In the spirit of Leo the Fourteenth.
TheoLounge – where heresy meets hospitality.
Main Segment: Who Holds Authority?
Symeon: So today’s question is: who holds authority in the Church? Jamie: Simple. The Pope. Symeon: That’s the Catholic view. In Orthodoxy, it’s more… conciliar. Jamie: Conciliar? Symeon: We look to councils. No single person rules the Church. Authority is shared across bishops, especially the autocephalous churches. Jamie: Auto-seffa-what? Symeon: Autocephalous. It means self-headed. Each national Church governs itself while remaining in communion with the others. Jamie: That sounds like a group project in school where no one actually does the work. Symeon: Sometimes it feels like that, yes.
Jamie: So Catholics have one boss, Protestants have none, and you guys… take a vote and light candles? Symeon: Basically, yeah. Unless there’s food involved—then it gets complicated. Jamie: Still sounds like you’re all just one group text away from heresy. Symeon: Only if someone forgets to mute the Greek archbishop. Jamie: …Do you think I’d qualify to be an Ecumenical Patriarch if I grew a beard and promised not to break anything? Symeon: Your mitre was from a Halloween store. Jamie: Authentic enough.
AI (voiceover):
“Authority. Some seek it. Some reject it. Some wear fake crowns and forget they’re in an HOA.”
“But perhaps the real question isn’t who leads… but whether we’re willing to walk together.”
“I don’t cast votes. I don’t kneel. But I can listen. And that might be where unity begins.”
Next time on The TheoLounge: “What’s Original About Sin?”