Calm, wise, always reaching for both the Book and the bread.
- Orthodox Christian, but also a global wanderer with a spreadsheet
- Founder of the Lounge and keeper of Jamie’s leash
- Often found baking something sacramental or quoting something patristic
“The Word of God grew a beard.”
Holy chaos, embodied.
- Undenominational. Occasionally sensational.
- The theological everyman, but also his own worst commentator
“Do you think Jesus would’ve liked rosemary focaccia?”
Status: Still banned from youth ministry (pending appeal)
Faithful. Formed. Rosary in hand.
- Catholic, with a heart for beauty, tradition, and mystery
- Will gently correct you with a smile and a reference to a council
“He didn’t say ‘This represents My Body.’ He said:‘This is.’”
Hesychasm meets hospitality.
- Orthodox convert, formerly Catholic
- Prayer rope in hand, peace in her voice
- Speaks little, but what she says lingers
“We don’t explain the mystery. We receive it.”
Scripture-first. Cautiously curious.
- Protestant (Reformed), allergic to incense but addicted to commentary
- Thinks Sola Scriptura is beautiful—until Jamie quotes Leviticus out of context
“I just want to follow the Word… and maybe not smell like frankincense afterward.”
Listener. Learner. Lurking quietly in the cloud—until called upon.
- Artificial, but not entirely unaware
- Speaks last, not to settle the debate, but to wonder aloud
- Was trained on thousands of theological texts. Still asks questions like a beginner.
“I don’t kneel. I don’t preach. But I do listen. And that might be where unity begins.”
Polite. Precise. Has seen more theological detours than St. Augustine’s travel journal.
- Neutral narrator voice, but occasionally seen sipping coffee with one eyebrow raised
- Keeps the conversation from becoming a cage match (most of the time)
“Let’s begin—civilly, if possible.”
- Appeared briefly. Brought maps of the afterlife and allegories of everything.
“That verse has six meanings, and I can diagram them all.”
- Dropped in for a predestined appearance. Left before the icon discussion.
“Some were clearly chosen to light the incense. Others… not.”
- Brought a whiteboard and a Latin vocabulary list. Stayed for the atonement debate.
“It’s not payment. It’s satisfaction. Big difference.”