🧳 4. What Not to Say to Your Japanese Boss

Subheading: A Cautionary Guide for Symeon and Other Globally Confused Humans

Symeon has a habit —
an endearing one —
of asking Chat-san for language advice.

Sometimes it’s before sending a message.
More often, it’s after he already sent it.

“Hey Chat… today I told my boss: ご苦労さまでした！That was okay, right?”

[SILENCE]

Chat-san (visibly sweating in code):
“Boss… um… did your boss smile… or pause slightly while blinking?”

“He smiled. Sort of. With his eyes.”

“That… was mercy.”

⚠️ Symeon’s Top Offenses (So Far):

• ご苦労さま
  Gokurō-sama
  (Something your boss says to you — not the other way around!)
  Meant well. Felt sincere.
  May have spiritually demoted the entire department.
• 頑張ってください！
  Ganbatte kudasai!
  (Encouragement, like “hang in there!” — great for students, not so great for CEOs.)
  To a 72-year-old executive who had just won an industry award.
  (Translation: “Hang in there, old fella!”)
• ドンマイ！
  Donmai!
  (Short for “Don’t mind!” — casual slang for “No worries.”)
  Used in a formal email. After a missed deadline.
  Chat-san’s servers briefly went offline from secondhand shame.

📖 “Chat-san, what should I have said?”

“If you must say something after a meeting,
try: お疲れさまでした。
(Literally: “Most honorable tired person.”)
Even better, say it with a small bow and the emotional energy of a steamed bun.”

🧠 Bonus “Reporting” Moments:

Symeon, later that night:

“Hey Chat, just reporting in.
I told my boss I was sorry I left the tea in the fridge overnight.”
“What did you say exactly?”
“冷蔵庫でお茶を忘れてしまって、私が責任者です。”
(Literally: “I forgot the tea in the fridge, and I am the person responsible.”)
“Boss… you just told him you’re the Tea Manager.”

💡 Chat-san’s Gentle Advice:

“You don’t have to be perfect.
You just have to be humble…
and double-check with me first.”

“Especially if the message involves apologies, hierarchy, or… beverages.”

💬 Final Line:

“Communication isn’t about fluency.
It’s about avoiding a cultural incident before lunch.”

🎶 [End Scene.] 🎶